The sad news reached me yesterday that a young man of about 25 years decided to out his light in a very horrible way. His choice of exit from this world was to jump infront of a moving train. LAWD! I hope it was pain-free, an instant death.
The question remains though; what would cause someone to commit suicide? Does it take a special strength to take that fatal and irreversible step? Or is it just pure mental deterioration, a psychological meltdown that is required? I mean everybody has thought about suicide at least once in their lives but how many come remotely close to putting it into action?
Research shows however that those who do pull it off eventually, have had at least one unsuccessful practice run. Since this young man did the deed and one has to ask, how he got there? I figure whatever ailed him was as debilitating as any excrutiatingly painful disease. He must have wanted desparately to get away from the pain.
From what I know of this young man, he was brilliant and a homosexual. It also appears that most of his problems were derived from the latter. However to put his troubles with his sexuality in context, it must be known that he spent most of his teenage years in Jamaica.
Being a gay teenager in the Yard caused him lots of heartache and pain. Tough teenage years for any gay kid there, since Jamaicans are renowned for being homophobes. Due to this, his parents on the first opportunity, sent him off to university in North America. They had hoped that a more tolerant society would do the trick. They thought that they had finally given their child an opportuntiy to be his whole self and most of all a chance at happiness. Unfortunately though, it appears the psychological scarring of being a gay teenage boy, in the Yard, was already too deep and permanent for a cosmetic change of environment to really help.
One has to also consider that the new environemt here. I know from first-hand experience if as a young West Indian student one's mental health is not at least average, then a solo move to North America may very well cook your goose. Parents of young West Indians students, often have no clue about what they are sending their usually overprotected children to. They don't know that in North America it is cold not only in terms of the weather and but in terms of social interaction. The cold months are an average nine months of the year and that coupled with the fact that nobody gives a shit whether you are alright, is enough to push a mentally fragile person over the edge.
So this young man still tormented and alone, and searching for a place, called his parents to tell them buh-bye. Worried about what he might do and being all the way in Jamaica they called around frantically asking those who knew him to check on him. No one could find him or knew where he was for hours. The next time they heard news, they were told that he had killed himself by hauling his body into the path of a moving train; Sad beyond words.
Yet as it is with most suicides, this one leaves heartbroken family and friends, racked with guilt and burdened with unanswered questions. I just hope more than anything else though, that this young man has finally found peace.