Sunday, March 27, 2005

STRANGE LOVE

According to Bryant Gumble of Real Sports and most of the NBA, the kind of relationship between NBA forward Doug Christie and his wife Jackie is just that. Mrs Christie is at all Doug's games. They signal to each other "I Love You" continuously during games. A count in one game tallied 50 odd "I Love You" signs from husband to wife.

Most people are ticked off by the fact that Mrs. Christie's job appears to be keeping Doug from women. The job of vagina blocker, to put it crudely, entails being at Doug's side every living minute when he's off court and in the stands when he is on court. She also vets all contact with reporters/media persons etc. They the reports can't be young women, most times they are men.

Doug does not seem to mind at all. He thinks that what they do is needed to keep him faithful to his wife of several years. Anybody who knows even just a tiny bit of US atheltes' lives, knows what goes on, off the court/field. It is not easy on the wives as most put up with the infidelity and embarassment and others leave, breaking up their families. It is refreshing to me to see the athlete himself take an active part in keeping himself from the temptations that are abundant in the NBA. He feels so strongly about it that he and his wife have a full wedding performed every single summer with their friends and family as witness.


Strange love? Maybe b/c it so rare to see athletes and monied people behaving as the Christies do. To be truthful though some of what they do seems extreme to me but I say hurray to the Christies, good luck and God's speed. Your way seems to work for you!

6 comments:

Jdid said...

I understand your angle but to me its a bit extreme. Either they are saying Doug just cant be trusted around any woman who isnt his wife or that his wife just doesnt trust any other woman and doesnt trust her husband.

plus even if she is blocking the reporters and the groupies there really is no need for the signals every two seconds in the game. a bit weird if you ask me.

Abeni said...

Over the top,if you ask me.That must feel so much like a chore.

ThandieLand said...

Yup! I did not call it strange love for nothing.

But I still think these ppl are proactive...maybe they are not doing it well, well enough for normal folks to be empathetic and positive in response.

But they are faced with circumstances that are as hostile to marriages as I could imagine and they had to work out a way to survive it, with their marriage intact. They may need help fashioning a healthier way but I admire them for trying.

cahapa said...

Yeah. It is 'strange love'. Not to my palate - because in the end it boils down to the woman's 'fault' if the man strays (same ole same ole) because she didn't do her job well. I give the couple points for recognizing there is a problem out there. But subtract points for misdiagnosis of what the problem is and for dragging their relationship into a "ZERO-TRUST" zone. I don't see how love and more importantly RESPECT can flourish without trust. Even if Mr and Mrs get to their 50th wedding anniversary without a sniff or touch of anybody else's genitals does not amount to fidelity (besides fidelity is not a stand-alone indicator of marital success). And even longevity of the marriage is not a sign of its sucess (we have nuff examples of that in our communites. Let's remember that African slavery was a life-long enshacklement as well.

cahapa said...

Here's a fantastic quote by Author/Feminist/Cultural Worker/Black Activist, Michelle Wallace
"The more I think about adultery, the more it feels like 'much ado about nothing.' Even calling it adultery is too glorified. It sounds like sacrilege, when in fact it's a fairly common event. If you want to stay married, you have to recognize that this is human behavior. It can even be an opportunity to change your life, to move on to another person. What I've learned over 15 years with my husband is that you have to let the relationship breathe. The worst thing to do is depend on the other person for your entire life, to be the Bobsey twins, to breathe when he breathes. You eventually get sick of each other. It's so liberating to finally let your partner go--not necessarily to have sex with another person, but to travel alone, to go to horse races. And not to go crazy worrying he may be with someone else. It takes a long time for love to develop--and it's a much deeper thing than any kind of superficial dallying."
Michele Wallace, Author of Black Macho and the Myth of the Superwoman

The Marlo Girl said...

you forgot to mention the infamous slapping incident, when the faithful, dedicated christies had a spat offside, and the missus slapped the mister so hard that the sound of palm meeting face was heard by half the stadium...